The big 2-4

While filling up a form, a friend of mine practically carved the number 20 into the paper in the space designated for her age. With a huge frown, she looked like she was on the verge of tearing up the offending (though totally innocent) piece of paper.

I don’t get it why nearly everybody I know gets so riled about entering their 20s. Perhaps this is because I haven’t reached the so-called big 2-oh yet.

I wonder how my friend would react if one day she would wake up and realize she just turned 30. Now that would be a rather scary sight (and probably, really hazardous to my health).

I could only just imagine what would happen to me once I turn 30. In one of my past columns, I talked about career paths and how I’d probably end up writing international bestsellers and running a magazine (if I keep my fingers crossed really, really tightly). Wouldn’t it be great if that actually did happen to me once I turn 30?

Now if that really did happen, I’m sure I’ll have that beach house and champagne in no time at all. Hey, whoever reads my columns will get free invites to all parties I’d be hosting at the imaginary beach house – the parties of course, shall strictly be poetry readings, literary and journalism discussions.

As appealing as that all may sound, I highly doubt that that beach house shall pop up by the time the clock strikes midnight, signaling my 30th birthday – right now, I shall continue to dream.

Speaking of celebrations, Sun.Star is celebrating its 24th year anniversary. With all the talk about what I’d be when I turn 30 (prophesizing, in other words), it makes me wonder what I’d be doing when I’m 24.

Turning 24 is not only a significant number to Sun.Star right now, but also to me, because this means that I would only have one year to go before I would have a quarter-life crisis (which is hilarious to think of) and I’d already be working at that time (hopefully).

I fell in love with print media once I stepped into college, first taking up Mass Communication before majoring in Media Communications. By the time I turn 24, I certainly do hope that I would work in the field of print media as a writer.

Journalism is exciting, something I have learned in many journalism classes from some of the best journalism teachers I have encountered.

Beating deadlines, getting sources, writing articles and typing away furiously is something I have fallen in love with and I would love to establish a seriously relationship with all of it once I turn 24 (or even sooner).

Now, I can’t wait to turn the big 2-4.

In school

There’s no turning back now. The signature says it all, the stamp confirms it and your faith has been sealed. The schedule doesn’t lie. You are now in and there are no escape routes or fire exits anywhere. You are trapped.

School is in.

Ah, I make it sound as if school were a torture chamber. There’s really nothing to worry about. As long as professors don’t wield axes and pull out huge iron maidens from behind the blackboard, school won’t be that painful.

Sure, we cringe at the sight of red marks on our essays and the sight of test papers puts us into psychological turmoil but we got to look at the bright side of if all. We are learning.

Doesn’t that just make your brain cells tingle? Can’t you feel your brain actually grow and the dust that has accumulated over the weeks no activities disappear as your cerebral cortex goes into full swing?

C’mon people! Put on your thinking hats and for once be happy that school is in full swing!

I’m sure somebody out there must be nodding his head in agreement, while others are just about ready to pelt me with rotten tomatoes.

But before you pelt me with rotten produce and learn my route pattern and find out where I usually eat dinner, let me show you some ways of how to get you to school on time, make your stay there a bit more bearable (and less like medieval torture) and hopefully make you less allergic to the word ‘school’ (and then you can shower me with your rotten vegetables).

Stop coming into class late. There is nothing more than annoying that hearing (and watching) you come in late into class, it not only disturbs the class and the teacher but obviously, you have also just missed 30 minutes of valuable class time.

If you are a consistent late comer, try to make an effort to actually come on time for once. Set your alarm clock and wake up when it rings, owning an alarm clock and hitting the snooze button at the first ring and going back to sleep defeats the purpose of owning one (especially if you hit the snooze button three more times).

Have something to look forward to. I’m sure something in school motivates you. If it’s not your extremely cute crush in your algebra class, then it must one of the meals in the canteen. Look at it this way, even if you flunked your history test, you might as well just pig out in the canteen and eat your sorrows away (though, this is not advisable).

Find a subject you actually like. I’m sure out of all the subjects you are taking this semester; something has got to appeal to you. That’s motivation enough to get your behind into school and hopefully not late for your classes.

And lastly, be happy you are in school, you are lucky to be in school.

Go on, bring on the tomatoes!

Stalked

If stalking were legal and not psychologically disturbing, I’d happily stalk Johnny Depp. Not to mention, if I had enough money to spend on plane tickets, bus and taxi fare, food and camouflage clothes, I’d easily pitch a tent in front of his house and gawk at his royal Deppness.

But in reality, I live on the other side of the globe, thousands of miles away from this wonderful eye candy. Plus, I do not have the time and more importantly, the money, to fly over to America (or wherever Depp is) and follow him around – if I did, I’d just prove one thing: I have no life (and I need a psychologist).

It amazes to what extent stalkers will go just to get a piece of their object of obsession. It just seems so wrong (not to mention psychologically disturbing) when stalkers begin to steal personal items of their so called victims.

Seriously, why on earth do you steal used chewing gum, underwear, or a pregnancy test?! Cloning quickly comes to mind, but that procedure is just too expensive and cloning human beings is just a big no-no.

What ever happened to the normal lock of hair, hairbrush or t-shirt stealing? I’m sure building creepy shrines in your clothes cabinet dedicated to your stars is still popular somewhere on the globe.

Stalkers need a life – and a shrink. I do not see the point of tailing somebody who is richer than you, prettier than you, more popular than you and not to mention, won’t even give you a chance in the dating pool. And let’s not forget that these are filthy rich people, they can send the police after you and have your ass. I mean, doesn’t that hurt your self-esteem? That or you are just a total masochist.

I’m no stalker material. Given the chance to stalk (is that even possible?) I obviously lack the resources and I do not have the patience to follow Johnny Depp around and watch what he is eating. And besides, I am not yet that screwed up in the head anyway.

Stalkers should give it a rest. Come to think of it, that was so last century. Ogling people you’ll never meet, talk to or socialize with is rather pathetic. Use your stalking skills for something more productive, like working for the FBI or something. I’m sure your lurking skills will be useful for something like that.

Get a hobby. Play American football, I think you can lurk around and then pounce your opponent at the most unexpected time. For Pete’s sake, do that than stalking some poor person and getting on their nerves.

And one more thing that every stalker (or that person who follows you around and does not call himself a stalker but just a ‘friend’) should know and get into their psychologically damaged heads: get a life.